Leveling-Up

​Each morning I scramble two eggs. I pour a little bit of green-vegetable juice into a glass and dilute it to the brim with city water from my faucet; it’s something I picked up doing in Australia. It makes you feel less guilty about drinking sugary juice.

My coffee pot sputters and steams as it make the MY perfect cup of hot black coffee. I usually sip this throughout the morning while I do dishes and make my bed.

Sitting down for breakfast is brief these days, usually spent listening to a podcast like 1A or the Creative Pep Talk, and other days I simply sit down with my own thoughts to entertain myself (Scary, I know). 

This week my thoughts have revolved around my favorite year. Do you have a favorite year of life? I’ve heard of people wanting to re-do particularly painful years (like my junior year of high school). However, I’m not here to talk about my most painful year. I’m here to talk about my favorite year.

2010: The year of the first iPad and the BP oil spill. It was a time when people still loved Justin Bieber.

I was in my early twenties in college and experienced some major changes. A late bloomer, I experienced my first French kiss at the end of my sophomore year and a swift heartbreak that followed finding out that this person was spreading the love with several other willing participants.

At the time, I was a little naïve and had never been in a situation like that before and so it crushed me (there’s a little more to this story, but it’s going to stay private). I can laugh about it all now, but at the time I didn’t believe I would recover from the loss; it all felt pretty hopeless. 

When the semester ended, I spent a decent part of the summer running. Not running away from my feelings, I mean literally running, up to about 6 miles in the morning, and walking approximately 4+ miles each evening. I was only working a part-time job so moving around became a hobby. Month after month, I woke up, tied on my shoes, and ran.

It helped occupy my mind that summer and gave me confidence in myself. I began to see myself as a person who could accomplish things on my own, rather than on the defense, just reacting to the things happening to me.

In September of 2010, I left for the Trip of a Lifetime (as we called it): My university study abroad program (5 weeks on Australia’s Gold Coast, 5 Weeks in Queenstown, NZ and 3 Weeks all over Southeast Asia). At this point, only mildly sore from the heartbreak I’d experienced months previously, I was optimistic that I was about to experience something truly remarkable.

I created friendships with people I didn’t expect. I broke rules. I jumped into the lake. I got lost in Hanoi, then again in Tokyo. During this time I discovered my passion for art and immediately changed my major to painting. I let myself feel alive again.

I like to think I “leveled-up” that year. When I look back on 2010, I don’t think about my heartbreak. I really only see the good. I see my first experience with fancy Japanese toilets. I see myself sneaking down the street with a pupil, drinking Heinekens in brown bags, trying not to get caught by our instructors. I see us staying up late on a sheep farm playing truth-or-dare. I still hear the group of us harmonizing on the bus, making the driver cry because it was beautiful.

2010 was the year I pushed myself out of my, so called, comfort zone and into (cue Kenny Loggins) the danger zone. Even the aforementioned heartbreak was a good thing. I pushed myself to be vulnerable with someone, and while it didn’t work out how I’d hoped, it was rewarding to open myself up. I learned how to be hurt and how to take care of myself at the same time.

Since then, I’ve had quite a few life-changing experiences and collected a whole slew of heartbreaks. I’ve changed for the better in some ways and, in other ways, I’ve likely changed for the worse. However, I simply can’t think of a year that sums up the idea of “leveling-up” better than 2010.

Upon this reflection, I’ve begun thinking about how I can level-up this year. How can I push myself to be the best I can be, make my best art, throw my best boxing combination, and explore the best places I can afford? What can I do in order to be brave enough to be vulnerable again? Are there things I can do now to keep progressing and eventually look back with a new favorite year?

I’m not sure I have an answer but I do have the mindset and motivation I know I need. I’m going to put myself back into the (Cue Kenny Loggins again) Danger Zone. I’m going to try new things and meet new people. I’m going to care for my body and my spirit.

2018 is the year I level-up again. If you’re tuned in, expect good things and if you have any recommendations, I’ll take those below.
​
Angela