The Burden of Dreams

I have a lot I want to accomplish. 

• I want to make and sell artwork respectively: I truly believe this is my calling. I know I have the skill and talent to continually develop my painting. I want people to be excited to have my work in their homes and businesses. I want to exhibit overseas and locally. 

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• I want to be in great shape: Yeah, I'm not talking about a 6 pack or anything, but you know, someday I'd like to feel that my physical strength matches my inner strength. 
• I want to be better educated: If I didn't have any student load debt, I would love to pursue a masters of fine art. Not necessary for the ability to teach, but just because I want to be in that atmosphere and focus on my craft. I'd also love to seriously focus on learning another language.
• I want to travel regularly: I'm not talking about going to Florida on spring break. I want to go all over the world! China, Peru, South Africa and back to all of the places I already know and love.

2010, My first trip down under.

This is just a handful of things I think about daily. Sometimes the weight of my dreams is more of a burden than a blessing. I'm not poor, but I'm in no way capable of paying my way through all of these items at once.

Remember when you were a child and thinking of the future was an exciting prospect. You could imagine yourself to be whatever you wanted to be, and didn't feel any pressure or limitations to those aspirations.

I want to know when it happened that my dreams turned into burdens. I carry around with me the stress of wondering whether or not I have the ability to make it all come to be. I have to work incredibly hard to even have a shot at some of these goals. 

Networking, exercising, saving money, planning, repeat. In the rare chance that I get a moment to myself, I fear that I am watching my twenties fly by without truly enjoying them. Then I look at my contemporaries, other artists and individuals who are doing so much more than me, and I start the process all over again.

Is it worth it? Is the stress going to pay off? Is the time and energy spent hoarding money away and saying "no" another piece of pizza ever going to prove fruitful? Furthermore, if I achieve all of these goals, will I even appreciate them? 

I believe it will, and that's why I keep at it. 

Allow me to outline my game plan.

• Work in my art ALL THE TIME & apply to contests and exhibits. throwing one dart at a bullseye may not ever hit the mark, but If I'm constantly throwing darts, at some point I'll succeed. 

My work was featured on IDADA's Website in July!

• Consistency through exercise and healthy eating. 
• Take a class here or there. Look at community classes to better my education in anything.
• Keep saving that money and keep a wary eye on the horizon for cheap plane tickets. 
• APPRECIATE THE HERE AND NOW: I need to be glad I have this life to live and the luxury of time to fuel these goals, and okay, maybe I can take a few moments here and there to relish in nothing but just existing. 

I know it's a simple plan, but I have to have one to keep moving forward.I can honestly say I am not always quite so "on task." I go through spells of time without painting. On occasion I eat an entire frozen pizza alone while my cat watches with disgust. I don't always save the money I want to save and end up buying expensive fancy body wash, instead of the basic kind.

Worst of all, I often forget how important gratitude is. Gratitude that I am here on this planet breathing and I have a responsibility to try to enjoy it. Goals and dreams are important to have, but if I never fully learn French, I'm going to have to still try to enjoy my life.  

And....now I've got to go get somethings done! 

Love,

​Angela