It's 5:15pm on Sunday. I'm sitting in my parents living room while my dad watches football and drinks an apple cider slushy from a local orchard. My mom is cooking some kind of chicken chili in the kitchen (I'm hoping to take a couple servings home so I don't have to cook dinner tomorrow night).
Caramel afternoon light is bleeding in through our windows then mom's sheer curtains like a blanket of reassurance that says, "Enjoy the moment. Don't think about tomorrow yet." It's officially "autumn" but it still feels like summer. We don't have that bite in the air yet. I'm trying to soak up the last bits of summer. Eager for fall but hesitant to get too into the season as if it will make winter come sooner.
And me? I'm thinking about Monday. I'm thinking about what I'm going to buy from the store on my way back. Will they be out of my favorite yogurt again? When will I have time to paint again? Probably not until possibly Thursday. Ugh.
I've begun creating a list of things I want to do each week. I even purchased a dry-erase board that I've hung up in my apartment with a list of Goals. On this weeks list is, "BLOG." So here I am. Trying to figure out what to tell you that will be both interesting and truthful.
The truth is I'm doing what you're doing. I'm thinking about what I need to do to make this a good week. I'm hoping his week is productive but not so stressful that I come home exhausted with no energy to do dishes or read.
I'm hoping I can be brave this week. I've moved up a level in my kickboxing class, which means basically everyone in the class with me is more skilled than I am; it's a little intimidating. I'm hoping I'll be able to keep up with them, and that I'll learn fast.
I'm also hoping I can be careful about what I eat. I so desperately want to reach a weight that feels both healthy and strong. My biggest hurdle with this is (and has always been) my nutrition. I'm scared I'm going to get lazy or tired or worse...stressed, and then just lose control over my healthy habits until they become unhealthy habits. I wish I could say that this wasn't always on my mind, but it is. I have to be prepared going into winter.
I'm determined to keep progress on my painting going. Sometimes I get discouraged with my work. I want to be able to paint more often but I have other obligations. I work a full time job, I have kickboxing, and after work commitments. I don't want my painting to be a hobby; I need it to be more than that, but I know that I need to spend more time and energy on it to make it happen. People say these are excuses, and I feel guilty.
Sigh. It's going to be fine, right? I think we all need to hear that from time to time. I know I will make time for the things I need to make time to do.
I will keep on keeping on, and I will make sure I do it well.
So, with all of this on my mind I have two options: Do nothing, or so something. I have to try to make the best of my week. I have to do all I can to accomplish all I hope to accomplish. I have to remind myself I have the ability to do all of this and more. So that's what I'm doing now. What are you doing this week?
Angela DeCamp is an Indianapolis based artist. who enjoys the finer things in life: black coffee, carnival tickets, the sound high heels make when they clickty-clack on the sidewalk.